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Last week, tripped over me trousers—typical Bean!—thought, “Need a rubdown, me!” Surprised how it’s all proper-like now, legit spas n’ all, not just dodgy backrooms. “The body is a cage,” Bauby mumbled in me head—massage lets it out, woosh! Me, I’d prob’ly knock over the table, oil in me hair—argh!—but still, relaxes yer rusty joints, don’t it?

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So, I follow the path, and OMG, the view from up there is insane! You can see the whole lake, and the sunset is starting to kick in. I’m standing there, feeling all philosophical, like, “This is life, man.” But then, I hear a rustling in the bushes. I freak out, thinking it’s a bear or something. Turns out, it’s just a dog. A big, fluffy dog. I’m relieved but also kinda disappointed. I wanted a dramatic story, ya know?

The 7 best public beaches in Hungary you should definitely visit this summer