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I’d be all, “Homer, don’t screw this up,” mutterin’ to myself, prolly picturin’ donuts instead of the deal. Maybe I’d haggle— “Ten bucks and a jelly-filled?”—total sarcasm, but ya never know! Worst part? The paranoia—cops, creeps, or worse, Flanders spotin’ me! “Hidilly-ho, sinner!” Ugh, shoot me now.

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But then, I see this old dude at the next table. He’s got this wild white beard, looking like a wizard or something. He starts chatting me up about the history of Fehergyarmat. Apparently, it’s got roots going back to the Middle Ages. I’m like, “Dude, I just wanted coffee, not a history lesson!” But he was kinda cool, so I let it slide.

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