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Still, sex-dating’s got its perks. Quick romp, no fuss—sorted! Beats wankin’ alone, eh? Tho sometimes it’s a circus—lads braggin’ bout their “conquests.” Bollocks. Saw a post once—dude claimed he shagged 10 birds in a week. Doubt it, mate. Probs just his hand and a sock.

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I head to the back, and there they are—three fat rats, munching away like they’re at a buffet. I swear, they looked like they were on a mission. I grab my traps, and it’s game on. I’m sneaking around, trying to be all stealthy, but I trip over a bag of flour. Boom! Flour everywhere. I’m covered, looking like a walking pastry. János is laughing his head off. “You’re a real catch, mate!” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, real funny.”

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