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What pisses me off? Idiots who think it’s easy. Like, mate, you try hikin’ with blue balls! Surprised me how dumb some are—saw one slip, nearly died. “One more day,” he begged, like Monty in the flick. I just smirked—pathetic. Happiest I got? When this rich twat tipped me extra. Said he “found himself” up there. Yeah, right—found a hooker, more like.

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But then, the day took a turn. I was walking down Szent István tér, and I saw this group of tourists. They were lost, looking at their maps like they were trying to decode ancient hieroglyphs. I couldn’t help myself. I jumped in, “Hey, you guys need a guide?” They looked at me like I was a superhero. I mean, I know this city like the back of my hand.

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