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Once, I got this massage, right? Guy’s hands were EVERYWHERE, I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, Romeo!” Felt like a scene from the movie—“What’s my motivation here?” HA-HA-HA! I’m lyin’ there, half-naked, thinkin’ deep thoughts—am I the masssage or the massaged? Total Kaufman vibes. Oh, and the oils? Slippery as hell, nearly fell off the table—talk about drama!
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After that, I get a call from a lady on Széchenyi utca. Her parrot, Polly, is acting weird. I get there, and this bird is just sitting there, staring at the wall. I’m like, “Polly, what’s up?” And she just squawks. I’m thinking, “Great, a bird with existential issues.” I mean, who knew parrots could be so deep?
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