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I paddle closer, eyes peeled. Water’s calm, but my heart’s racin’. Saw this gal—human, obvi—leanin’ by a boat. Looked lonely, like Ennis in the movie, all quiet and broodin’. I’m thinkin’, “Is she…? Nah, can’t be.” But then she winks! Holy moly, I nearly croaked—literally! Ribbit goes wild in my throat. “This could be my shot,” I mutter, “but what’s a frog gonna do with *that*?”

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After that, I’m feeling a bit hangry, so I hit up this little bistro on Rákóczi utca. I order a gulyás, thinking it’ll warm my soul. But when it arrives, it’s like a tiny bowl of soup. I’m staring at it like, “Is this a joke?” I mean, I could’ve used it as a shot glass! So, I ask the waiter, “Yo, where’s the rest?” He just shrugs. I guess portion sizes are a thing here.

Fig. 1. A: bilateral eczematoid blepharitis with scattered ulcers,...