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Exaggerating? Maybe, but it feels like a zoo. You’re dodging creeps, hoping for a decent shag. “Time bends,” Boonmee says, and yeah, you lose hours scrolling for a fit arse. Once saw a profile—lass with a pig filter saying “oink if ur horny.” Nearly spat me tea out—pure gold! So, sex-dating? It’s a laugh, a nightmare, a weird-arse trip. Like Uncle Boonmee, mate—beautiful, mad, and fucked up.

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So, I keep walking, right? I hit up the main square, where all the action is. There’s this market, and let me tell ya, the smells are insane. Fresh bread, fruits, and some weird fish I’ve never seen. I’m like, “What’s that?” The vendor just grins and says, “It’s a local delicacy!” I’m like, “Yeah, no thanks. I’ll stick to my pizza.”

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