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About Kecskemet

I got into it once—total accident! Friend says, “Kermit, try this massage thing.” I’m like, “Hi-ho, sounds fancy!” Next thing, boom—candles, oils, hands everywhere! Felt like a king, then—whoa—things got steamy! Made me happy, like, “Wow, pigs ain’t got nothin’ on this!” But also mad—why’s this so secret? Everybody’s actin’ all “pure” but sneakin’ off for it!

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m starving. I hit up my fave spot, a little joint on Fő utca. They’ve got the best lángos. I order one, and while I’m waiting, I see this cute dog outside. I’m talking to the dog like it’s my therapist. “You get me, buddy.” The owner laughs. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m totally normal.”