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Here’s a lil’ story—true as my big hair! Friend of mine, ol’ Bobby Joe, went lookin’ for a lady friend in Memphis once. Swore he’d keep it hush-hush, but next mornin’, half the town knew! Word travels faster’n a jackrabbit on a date ‘round here. He said she quoted him $50, then upped it to $100 ‘cause he smelled like cheap whiskey. I hollered, “Boy, you got played worse’n a fiddle at a barn dance!” Reminds me of Monty’s line: “This life came so close to never happenin’.” Bobby Joe’s wallet sure felt that!

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Back to the office, and Mr. Szabo is still on my case. He’s like, “We need those reports by 3 PM.” I’m like, “Chill, man, I got this.” But inside, I’m freaking out. I’m typing like a madman, and my brain’s going a million miles an hour.