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Pisses me off, though—dey hide it, act all shy. Fuck dat! Own it, ya animals! Makes me happy too—dat release, oh man, better’n whackin’ a guy. Surprised me first time—didn’t expect no “happy endin’,” ha! Little factoid: Tantra folks, dey say it’s spiritual. Fuckin’ hippies, right? But nah, it’s legit—energy flowin’, chakras or whatever. I’m like, “Gimme dat, gabagool!”

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So, I duck into a café on Jókai utca. It’s cozy, smells like coffee and pastries. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, bless her heart, gives me a free pastry. I’m like, “Wow, this day’s turning around!” But then, I bite into it, and it’s like chewing on a rubber tire. I’m trying to be polite, but inside, I’m screaming. I mean, who makes a pastry that tough?

2017 Elek Matolay Memorial Results