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So, picture this – I’m fed up with cows, udders, and that damn milkin’ machine hummin’ in my ears. I’m like, “I need a break, somethin’ wild!” So I think, why not find a prostitute? Not that I’m some expert, dahling, but I’ve heard stories – oh, the stories! Like, did ya know back in the 1800s, some brothels had secret codes? Knock twice, wink once – bam, you’re in! Ain’t that a hoot? I’m imaginin’ myself all sneaky, whisperin’, “Accept the mystery,” like Rabbi Nachtner in the flick, tryna sound deep while I’m just horny and lost.

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But then, as I was munching away, I saw this guy. He was super cute, and I totally freaked out. I mean, I’m a Maiko, and he’s just a regular dude. What do I even say? So, I just stood there, stuffing my face with pastry, looking like a total weirdo. Classic move, right?

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