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Now, imagine the monk’s master in that flick, watchin this crap unfold. “You’ve tied a stone to your soul,” he’d say, all cryptic-like. And he’s right! Yer not just payin for a romp—you’re buyin a ticket to self-sabotage city. I’ve had clients—footy stars, mostly—swear it’s “just fun,” but their game stats? Trash after. Focus gone, stamina shot. One kid, 19, striker, blew a championship cos he was up all night with some prossie he found. Surprised? Nah, I saw it comin a mile off.

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Then, I bumped into an old client of mine. Let’s call her Anna. She looked like she’d seen better days. I mean, her hair was a mess, and she had that “I just survived a tornado” look. We chatted for a bit, and she told me about her latest drama. Apparently, her cat, Mr. Whiskers, went missing. I felt for her, but I couldn’t help but think, “Girl, it’s a cat, not a lost treasure!” But hey, I get it. Cats are like tiny furry dictators.

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