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But, man, it pisses me off sometimes. These escorts zoom by, actin’ like kings, and I’m stuck at a light, late for pizza. Once, I yelled, “Eat my shorts!” at ‘em—felt good, dude. Other times, I’m stoked—saw this slick black car escortin’ some rockstar, guitars pokin’ outta the window! Total badassery. Makes me think, “Maybe I’d rock that job,” y’know? Barkin’ orders on the radio, “Move it, losers!”

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We finally get into it, and I’m trying to explain some investment options. But he’s just staring at me like I’m speaking Martian. I’m like, “C’mon, man! It’s not rocket science!” I swear, I could feel my brain melting.

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