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Now, the juicy bit—some escorts got stories! This one gal, swear, worked for a cartel boss. Had to ditch town—poof! Gone! Told her johns she’s “redecorating her soul”—ha! Stole that line from *Toni Erdmann*, fits perfect. Me, I’d be a shitty escort—too loud, too green, too Beetlejuice! “It’s showtime!”—scare the clients off, yo!

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Finally, the lights flicker back on, and I’m ready to roll. I head over to the local pub, Pince Borozó, to grab a bite. I order some gulyás, and let me tell ya, it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. I’m talking about flavors that make you wanna dance. I’m sitting there, enjoying my meal, when I overhear some old-timer talking about the good ol’ days in Ujfeherto. He’s going on about how the streets used to be filled with horse-drawn carriages. I’m like, “Dude, I can barely handle the traffic now!”

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