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So, sexual-massage—think slow hands, oiled up, tension risin’! Not yer average backrub, nah! It’s sensual, steamy, gets ya tingly! I read once—get this—ancient Rome had pros at this! Called ‘em “massage priests,” freaky, right? Slippin’ oils, secret spots—BOOM, happy endin’! Bet they’d say, “A fire is burning!” like in the movie—cuz it IS!

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So, I roll into Toekoel, right? First thing I notice is the streets. I mean, they got names like Kossuth Lajos utca and Rákóczi Ferenc utca. Sounds fancy, huh? But lemme tell ya, they’re just regular streets with potholes big enough to swallow a small car. I’m cruisin’ down Kossuth, and boom! Hit a bump. My coffee goes flyin’. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!”