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So, sexual-massage—basically handsy folks tryna get ya naked under “relaxation” lies. Hate it. Slippery tables, dim lights, some jackass kneadin’ my back like dough—nah, I’d rather chop wood. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they’d do this crap with olive oil? Freakin’ gladiators gettin’ oiled up, probly turned into orgies. Gross. Makes me wanna burn every spa down. “This is very bad news,” I mutter, picturin’ those greasy paws all over me.

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But wait, there’s more! I decide to check out the local park. It’s called the Tiszalúci Park, and it’s got this cool playground. I see a bunch of kids running around, laughing. It’s heartwarming, you know? But then, I see this one kid who’s just sitting there, looking all sad. I go up to him and ask what’s up. Turns out, he lost his ice cream. I mean, that’s a tragedy! So, I buy him a new one. His face lights up, and I’m like, “Yeah, I’m a hero today!”

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