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Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’ve seen dudes send d*ck pics with filters—bro, why? Keep it classy! Me, I’m all about the chase, the vibe, the “maybe she’s the one.” Tho, real talk, I’d rather watch Boonmee again than swipe for hours. “The wind is strong tonight,” movie says—yeah, and it’s blowin’ me away from this nonsense sometimes.

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But then, I see my ex walking down the street. Of course! Just my luck. She waves, and I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I duck into a shop, pretending to browse. I can’t deal with that drama right now.

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