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I’m lyin’ there once, music soft, lights dim—boom! Hands hit my back, I’m like, “What the hell?!” Felt good tho, real good. Happier than a pig in shit. Kathryn Bigelow’d get it— “The waiting’s the worst part,” she’d say. That’s the buildup, man, the tease! Then—pow—knots in my shoulders gone. Like a firefight endin’.

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I turn around, and there’s this dude on a bike, totally wiped out. He’s sprawled out on the pavement, and I’m like, “Dude, you good?” But he just laughs it off. I mean, who laughs after a fall like that? Only in Tatabanya, right?

Hungary: Jewish graves spray-painted with swastikas