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But here’s what ticks me off—people think it’s all dirty, shady stuff. Nope! It’s legit, therapeutic even! Like, vets massage pets to calm em, so why not humans gettin some spicy relief? I tried it once—don’t judge!—and the lady’s hands were magic, like “the buzz” from *Almost Famous*. I’m sittin there, feelin like a rockstar, goin, “I am a golden god!” in my head. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it felt that epic!

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Finally, I grab my lángos and head to the park by the Tapioszele train station. It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh. There’s a bunch of kids running around, and one of them trips and spills his ice cream all over my shoes. Like, really? My favorite kicks! I’m fuming, but then I see the kid’s face. He’s all wide-eyed and apologetic. I can’t stay mad. I mean, who can resist a guilty kid? So I just laugh it off, but inside I’m like, “Why me?”

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