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I’d cruise, stoic, watchin shadows. “Whoa,” the masks they wear! Like Monsieur Oscar switchin gigs. Happy when it’s real, tho—good vibes. Ever tried hagglin? Ballsy move, sometimes works. Exaggeratin here, but one time, swear, chick quoted me 500! Laughed my ass off— “Later, princess!” Keep it simple, safe, cash upfront. That’s the Keanu way, bro.

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But then, as I’m leaving, I bump into this guy. He’s cute, but he’s also super awkward. He spills his drink all over me. I’m like, “Really, dude?!” But he’s so apologetic, I can’t stay mad. We end up chatting, and he’s actually really funny. I’m thinking, “Maybe this day isn’t so bad after all.”