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But—here’s what ticks me off. Some sleazy joints ruin it! Givin’ it a bad rap—makes me wanna holler. Real erotic-massage? It’s art, not smut. Fun fact—Japan’s got this style, “nuru,” slippery as hell—seaweed gel! Slidin’ like a kid on a slip-n-slide—cracked me up thinkin’ ‘bout it. Exaggeratin’ here, but—imagine me tryin’ that? “C’mon, man,” I’d fall flat!

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little joint on Kossuth Lajos utca. You know the one? The barista there, Zsófia, she’s a legend. She knows my order by heart. I’m like, “Yo, Zsófia, hit me with the usual!” And she’s like, “You mean the ‘I need caffeine or I’ll die’ special?” Classic. But then, she spills a bit on my shirt. Great start, right? I’m already lookin’ like a mess.

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