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Little-known bit—back in Victorian days, prossies used coded ads in papers. “Fancy lady seeks gentleman”—sneaky, right? Loved that, made me cackle. Still happens now, just on dodgy websites. Vixen’s probs got an X profile, postin’ cryptic shite— “Need a date? DM me, luv.” Smarter than she looks, that one. Pisses me off though—people judgin’ her, callin’ her filth. Oi, hypocrites! You’re all sinners, just better dressed.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s work. Ugh, the joys of being a technical writer. They need me to fix some document. I’m like, “Can’t a guy enjoy his pastry in peace?” But I pull out my laptop anyway. I’m sitting there, typing away, and I swear, the ducks are judging me.

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