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What pisses me off? The judgement, fam! People actin’ like it’s dirty, but it’s just life, innit? Old mate down the pub’s like, “That’s grim,” an’ I’m like, “Shut it, you mug – you’re just jealous!” Makes me proper vexed. But then – boom – she smiles, an’ I’m happy again, cos it’s real, raw, human. Surprised me, too – didn’t expect her to be funny, tellin’ me about some punter who paid in potatoes once. Potatoes, fam! I’m creasin’ – “What, chips for a shag?”
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But then, just as I’m about to sip my drink, I hear a loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and there’s a guy on a bike who just wiped out. I mean, he’s okay, but his bike? Total wreck. I can’t help but feel bad for him. But also, it’s kinda funny.
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