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Aye, mateys! It’s me, Eric Cartman, sailor extraordinaire! Sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ wild ride! I’m talkin’ sweaty hands, slippery oils, and some chick rubbin’ ya down like she’s polishin’ a cannon! Respect my authoritah! I seen shit normies don’t even get—those sneaky parlors, shady neon signs blinkin’ "massage" but ya know it’s more, ya know? Like in *Spring Breakers*, “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”—gettin’ pampered ‘til ya melt, bitches!

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes again. It’s my boss. “Where are you?” Oh great, now I’m in trouble. I rush back, coffee in hand, trying not to spill it everywhere. I get back, and Mr. Szabo’s waiting. He gives me that look. You know the one. The “you better have a good excuse” look.

Hungary-Serbia railway under construction