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Me fave bit? When dey hit dat spot—ooh, lawd!—ya tense up, den melt like butter on a hot crumpet. Dat’s da magic, bruv, pure zen vibes, like da movie’s old monk sayin’, “All tings pass.” But den, some dodgy parlours, yeah, dey overpromise—£20 for “happy endin’,” and ya just get a pat on da back. Bruv, I was fumin’, like, “Where’s me fireworks, fam?” Total scam, made me wanna kick off.

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So, I finally get the logs sorted. Took me ages. I’m sweating like a pig. But then, I spot this cute café on the corner of Rákóczi and Petőfi. I’m like, “I need coffee. Stat!” I rush over, and guess what? They’re outta my fave brew. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I settle for some weird herbal tea. Not the same, man. Not the same.