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But ugh, what ticks me off? The sleazy vibes! Like, c’mon, man, why’s it gotta be so hush-hush? Makes my green skin crawl! Once heard this story—prolly fake, ha!—guy hired an escort to scare his ex. Dressed her as a monk! Freaky, right? Surprised me big time! I was like, “Whoa, that’s next-level petty!”

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Finally, we get everything secured. I’m soaked, but I feel like a hero. Laci’s just standing there, drenched and grinning. “Best day ever, right?” he says. I roll my eyes. “Yeah, if you like chaos.”