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Little secret—didja know sex-dating’s old as dirt? Romans had “lupae,” hookers in wolf dens. Wild, huh? Now it’s Tinder, Grindr, whatever. Same game, new toys. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—Great Scott!—tech’s nuts! You can geo-tag a booty call. “The target’s in our sights!”—10 miles away, horny.

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Then, I head over to the main square, where they have this market. Fresh veggies, handmade stuff, you name it. I’m browsing, and I spot this guy selling homemade pálinka. I’m like, “Why not?” So I buy a shot. It’s strong, man! I’m feeling it. But then, I see my buddy, Gábor, and he’s like, “Let’s do another!” So we down another shot. Now I’m buzzing, and everything’s funny.

Hungarian beaches are of excellent quality, except for these three