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Gets me buzzin’, honest—hands slidin’, muscles givin’ in, pure bliss. But—ugh—some dodgy parlors out there, yeah? Grubby vibes, sketchy blokes, pisses me off proper. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark.”—I see through that shite, mate. Had this one time, right, lass with magic fingers—thought I’d levitate! “This is the fuckin’ life!”—straight outta the movie, that’s me screamin’ in my head. Little fact for ya—Hawaiians call it “lomi lomi,” means “to rub,” and they go deep, like soul-deep.

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But then, bam! I bump into this old dude. He’s like, “You’re a shepherd, huh?” I’m like, “Yeah, how’d ya know?” He points at my boots. I laugh. “Guess they give it away, huh?” We chat for a bit. Turns out, he used to be a shepherd too. Small world, right?

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