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*deep breath* Picture this—cruisin downtown, lights flicker, smellin like piss and regret. Reminds me, "You think you’re better than us?"—Dogville line, bam! Hits when you’re hagglin prices. They stare you down, bro, judgin hard. Once knew this chick, “Star”—yep, real name, stripper vibes. She’d quote Shakespeare while countin cash—fuckin wild, right? Surprised the hell outta me. “To be or not,” she’d say, laughin—total badass.

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I get to the pékség, and it’s packed. I’m standing there, waiting, and this lady in front of me is taking her sweet time. I’m talking like she’s deciding between a croissant and a donut. Lady, just pick one! I’m about to lose it. Finally, I get my pastry, and it’s a chocolate croissant. Sweet victory, right? Wrong! I bite into it, and it’s like a chocolate explosion. I’m covered in gooey goodness. Great, now I look like a hot mess.

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