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So, I got this massage once—sketchy lil’ place, neon sign buzzin’. Guy’s like, “Relax, babe,” and I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, right, weirdo.” But then—oh lordy—his hands? Magic. Slippery, slow, like he’s paintin’ my back. Made me giggle—nerves, ya know? Little fact: ancient Greeks did this—naked, oily wrestlers! Bet they blushed somethin’ fierce.

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So, I’m trying to clean up, and I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer on the corner of Rákóczi utca. This dude is juggling flaming torches! I mean, who does that? I’m half impressed, half terrified. Like, bro, one wrong move and you’re toast. But hey, the crowd is loving it. I’m laughing, clapping, and then—wait for it—he drops a torch! Fire everywhere! People scream, I’m just standing there like, “Is this part of the show?”

Only in Hungary: Drunk women steal and drive around in a bus worth of 166,000 Euros