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I got this one time, right? Some joint in Miami, shady as hell. Neon sign buzzin’, “Massage Parlor,” yeah, sure, “parlor.” Walked in, this broad’s like, “You want the special?” I’m like, “Fuck yeah, I want the special!” Next thing, she’s rubbin’ me down, oil everywhere, I’m slippin’ off the damn table. Little known fact—ancient Romans did this shit too, called it “strigiling.” Rich fuckers gettin’ oiled up by slaves—crazy, right? Bet they didn’t have happy endings tho, fuckin’ prudes.

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After that, I head over to the local bakery on Fő utca. Best pastries ever! I grab a couple of those lángos. OMG, they’re heavenly! But then, I spill some on my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I had a food fight with a deep fryer.

First ETCS Level 2 on the MÁV network goes live