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So, here’s the deal—met this chick online, profile screamin’ “fun, no strings.” Thought, *perfect*, right? We’re vibin’, drinks flowin’, then bam—she’s talkin’ marriage by dessert! Clarice, I nearly choked on my Chianti. Sex-dating’s s’posed to be quick, dirty, not a damn opera. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn…”—pfft, more like the greatest lie you’ll ever swipe.

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So, I hit the streets around 9 AM. First stop? The bakery on Fő utca. Best pastries ever! I grab a túrós batyu, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill coffee all over my shirt. Great start, right? I’m walking around looking like a mess. Classic me.

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