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Favorite bit? When they hit that spot—y’know, lower back, near the hips? Electric! Like, “I await the end,” from *Melancholia*, but sexy, not doomy. Pro tip: warm oil’s key, cold stuff’s trash—feels like a slap. Oh, and some parlors sneak in “extras”—wink-wink—dunno if it’s legal, but it’s out there. Surprised me first time, like, “Wait, what?!” Laughed my ass off after.

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Finally, I headed home, exhausted but happy. I thought about how unpredictable life is. One minute you’re stressed, the next you’re dancing with coworkers. Paty (hu), you’ve got my heart racing, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Trial for murder of Samuel Paty begins in France