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I’m picturin’ it now—dim lights, slow jams, hands hittin’ spots you didn’t even know you had. Like, “Who’s drivin’ this limo?”—that’s me quotin’ *Holy Motors*, ‘cause it’s a ride, fam! You ever tried it? Shit’s surprisin’—one minute you’re tense, next you’re floatin’. Pro tip: them Tantric folks? They take it next level, breathin’ and teasin’ ‘til you’re like, “Daaaamn, fo’ shizzle!” But real talk, some masseuses be so fine, I’m thinkin’, “Is this allowed to be *this* hot?” Ha!

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So, we’re all pumped, right? We start planning this bake sale. I’m thinking, “Paszto’s gonna come together!” But then, I get a text. “The park’s reserved for a concert.” Are you kidding me? I’m ready to throw my phone.

Tibor Rubin Is Dead at 86; Medal of Honor Was Delayed by Anti-Semitism (Published 2015)