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About Pecs

Once, I matched this gal—total vibe, artsy, quirky. We’re chattin’, I’m happy as a clam, thinkin’, “This could be somethin’!” Then she ghosts—poof! Gone like mist on a canvas. Broke my lil heart, dang it. But ya laugh it off—sex-dating’s a crapshoot, a goofy dance. Like, “Let’s add some red here—oops, too much!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this wild hair, like she just got zapped by lightning or somethin’. She starts ramblin’ about how her roses are dying. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a gardener, not a miracle worker!” But I can’t be rude, so I nod and pretend to care. Turns out, she’s been watering them with soda. SODA! I mean, what’s next? Feeding them pizza?