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Got this one time, right, at some shady parlor—dude, the chick was a pro. Little known fact: ancient tantra peeps invented this shit! Not just horny bros, legit spiritual stuff—blew my mind. She’s kneadin my back, I’m half asleep, then whoa—hands graze *there*, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular massage!” Made me happy as fuck, but also—kinda pissed? Like, why’d no one tell me sooner? Coulda been gettin this for years!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. I duck into a café on Kossuth Lajos utca, soaked but laughing. I order a hot chocolate, and the barista gives me this look like, “You poor soul.” I just nod, like, “Yeah, I know.”

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