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Little known fact: them ancient Greeks, right? They’d oil up wrestlers for “massage”—half sport, half foreplay, slippery bastards. Bet they’d smirk at us payin’ 50 quid for it now. Me, I’d rather a lass who knows her way round me strings—erotic-massage ain’t cheap, and I’m a stingy git. Once got one in Lannisport—well, King’s Landing, whatever—lass had hands like a butcher, I was ragin’. “I’m not some bloody cipher!” I barked, thinkin’ of Zodiac’s killer dodgin’ justice.

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Then, I’m sittin’ there, catchin’ my breath, when I see this old lady. She’s walkin’ her dog, and the dog decides it’s a great idea to chase my sheep. I’m like, “Lady, control your beast!” But she just laughs. I mean, come on!

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