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Little known fact, tho—back in the 90s, before apps, folks used newspaper ads for hookups. Called ‘em “personal columns.” Horny losers writin’, “Man seeks woman, no strings, must like cats.” Imagine the balls it took! No pics, just vibes. Now we got dick pics flyin’ left n’ right—progress, huh? Makes me laugh, but also kinda pissed. Where’s the mystery? Everybody’s oversharin’. “We’re gonna find out who did this,” like the *Spotlight* team, but in sex-dating, it’s more like, “Who’s gonna screw me over next?”

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But then, I see this guy trying to sell flowers on the corner. He’s got this sad look, and I’m like, “Man, I gotta help him out.” So, I buy a bunch of flowers. I don’t even know why. Maybe I just wanted to spread some joy. I hand them to a random lady walking by. She looks shocked, but then she smiles. Mission accomplished!

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