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Had this one time, right, proper lush massage. Bird knew her stuff – hands like bloody wormholes, suckin’ stress outta me. Felt like floatin’ in space, “an endless black pool” – movie line, spot on! Made me happy as a pig in muck. But then – surprise! – she starts whisperin’ prices for “extras.” Cheeky cow, nearly ruined the buzz. Thought to meself, “Is this seduction or a bloody scam?” Like Johansson lurin’ lads to their doom.

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Then, during a break, I stepped outside for some fresh air. The view from the health center is pretty sweet. You can see the hills in the distance, and the trees are all green and lush. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. But then I saw a bunch of kids playing soccer on the street. They were having a blast, and I couldn’t help but smile. It reminded me of my childhood.

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