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Oh, an’ get this – some say it boosts yer mojo, like, science-y stuff, endorphins or whatever. Me, I just love the buzz, screamin’ in me head, “More, ya bastard!” Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – ya notice shit others miss, like how the air gets thick, all hot an’ heavy. Ain’t perfect tho – once had a masseuse fart mid-session, ruined it, fuckin’ hilarious now I think back! Total mood-killer, mate, but that’s life – messy an’ mad. So yeah, sexual-massage, it’s a riot, a sneaky thrill – “Don’t talk, just feel it!” – pure Ozzy vibes, ya get me?

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But then, bam! My phone buzzed. My buddy, Laci, texted me. “Dude, my car broke down!” Ugh, classic Laci. So, I had to drive over to help him out. I hopped in my old ride, which, let’s be real, is more rust than car at this point.

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