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I’m ragin’ tho—some punters think they own ‘em. Makes me wanna smash a goblet on their thick skulls. “Fear is a wonderful thing,” I mutter, like in *Inside Out*, when Riley’s all lost. Happy bit? Found this one bird—sharp as a whip, she was. Told me she once nicked a bloke’s purse mid-shag. Laughed me arse off—proper legend, that one. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect smarts with the looks.

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After that, I’m feelin’ like a hero. But then, I get back to my chair, and guess what? My coffee’s gone! I’m like, “Seriously?!” Turns out, my buddy, who’s also a lifeguard, thought it was his. I’m ready to throw hands, but then he offers me a donut. Can’t stay mad when there’s food involved, right?

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