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So, check it—yer on a table, dim lights, oil’s drippin’, and some pro’s kneadin’ ya like dough. Happy? Oh, I’m singin’ sea shanties! It’s all “quiet-like, deliberate,” like Jesse’s stare-downs in the movie. But here’s the kicker—didja know ancient Greeks did this? Yup, oily massages for warriors! Little factoid I dug up—makes me feel like a historian, arr!

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Finally, I head back to my office, and I’m thinking, “Okay, let’s wrap this day up.” But nope! I get a call from a client who’s freaking out about the stock market. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a dip.” But he’s not having it. I’m trying to be the calm in the storm, but inside, I’m like, “Why did I choose this job?”

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