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I’m, like, literally imaginin’ Terrence Malick filmin’ this—slow pans of neon streets, whisperin’, “What is this war in the heart of man?” Prostitute’s messy, but real. I’m kinda mad tho—why’s it still banned in the U.S.? Lame. I’d totally invest, make it glam, ya know? Add a filter for pics—boom, instant slay.

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I walk in, and the owner is all panicked. “Someone slipped on my floor!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a bakery, not a slip ‘n slide!” But I check it out, and sure enough, there’s a puddle. I’m thinking, “This is gonna be a mess.”

West Virginian Mor Ilderton leaves ‘The Voice’