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Pro tip: don’t be a dumbass, use protection, fo’ shizzle. Ain’t tryna catch nothin’ worse than a cold. And don’t fall in love, dawg – that’s a rookie move. This one cat I knew spent his rent on a hooker, cryin’ when she ghosted. I’m like, “Bro, she’s a pro, not your wifey!” Reminds me of *Toni* – “It’s not about winning, it’s about surviving.” Deep shit.

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First off, I’m cruising down Kossuth Lajos utca, thinking about grabbing a coffee at my fave spot, Café Mezotur. You know, the one with the best pastries? But nooo, of course, the universe had other plans. I hit a pothole—like, a legit crater in the road. My coffee dreams? Crushed. I’m fuming, like, “Who’s in charge of this mess?”

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