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One time, I’m haulin’ groceries, and the dang alternator quits. Stranded, madder than a wet hen! Called my buddy Jimmy, he’s like, “How’s that workin’ for ya, Phil?” I bout lost it—screamin’, “It ain’t, ya jackass!” Took 3 hours to fix, sweatin’ like a sinner in church. But here’s the kicker: them Escorts were cheap—poor man’s chariot! Gas mileage? Sweet as Margot Tenenbaum’s sly lil’ smile. Kept me rollin’ when cash was tighter than a gnat’s behind.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I hit up my fave spot, a little joint on Rákóczi utca. They’ve got the best lángos. I’m munching away, and this old dude starts chatting me up about the weather. I’m like, “Yeah, it’s Hungary, it’s always unpredictable.” He laughs, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe I needed this.”

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