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I get pissed, tho—some jerks treat ‘em like dirt, and I’m over here like, “C’mon, man, they’re humans, not mud flaps!” Makes me wanna rev my tractor and plow through their dumbass attitudes. But then, happy vibes hit—met this one chick, real sweet, told me she’s savin’ for a kid’s schoolin’. Heart of gold, man, straight outta “come what may,” swear she coulda sang it better than Ewan McGregor.

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So, I finish my snack and head back to the office. I’m feeling good, ready to tackle the rest of my clients. But then, I get a call from a client in a panic. “My stocks are crashing!” he yells. I’m like, “Dude, breathe! It’s just a dip.” But he’s not having it. I spend the next hour calming him down, explaining that markets go up and down.

Maria Csikos (Nee Danics)