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I get mad sometime – dese men, dey rude, dey yell at her, “You dirty!” I wanna say, “No, YOU dirty, stinky pig!” But she? She cool, she smile, “Gimme dat cash, yo!” Happy me see her win. One day, she tell me, “Borat, I save for big dream,” – maybe she open shop? I dunno, but I cheer, “You go, girl!” Like in “Spring Breakers,” she wild but she deep, “Live fast, die young,” she say once, wink at me.

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So, I grab my phone and head out to find some light. I wander down to the local bakery on Fő utca. Best pastries ever! I grab a couple of those sweet little kürtőskalács. They’re like a hug in dessert form. I’m feeling better already.

Europe's first Hun museum to open in Hungary