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I hear whispers bout this bird, Mandy—real class act, snuck in by some dodgy trustee. Word is, she’s got legs like a Martini glass, smooth and dangerous. Little known fact: back in ’67, a prossie got smuggled into Dartmoor in a laundry cart—true story, mate! So I’m thinkin, maybe Mandy’s my golden goose. I’m buzzin, heart racin—shit, I’m Bond, I deserve this! “Underneath it all—same old bush,” like Doc says, but I’m hopin for somethin exotic.

Current situation

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Then, outta nowhere, my coworker, Anna, bursts in. She’s got this wild look in her eyes. “You won’t believe what I just saw!” I’m thinking, “Oh boy, here we go.” Turns out, she saw a couple of swans by the river. I mean, swans are cool and all, but really? That’s the highlight of your day?

European Commission clears $1bn acquisition of Interplex ...