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So, I’m picturin’ it – hands glidin’, oil slickin’ up the skin. Not just some rubdown, nah. It’s art, bro! Little known fact – ancient Greeks were *into* this. Called it “anatripsis” – fancy, huh? They’d massage dudes before battles. Get ‘em loose, pumped, ready to wreck. Imagine that – erotic-massage as war prep! Blows my mind. Gets me hyped thinkin’ bout it.

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Finally, I get her back, and I’m feelin’ like a hero. But then, I see this kid, right? He’s throwin’ rocks at my flock! I’m like, “Hey! What’s wrong with you?” He just shrugs. I’m ready to lose it. I mean, come on! Who raises a kid like that? I give him a lecture about respect for animals. He rolls his eyes. Kids these days, I swear.

Hungarian Jews urge ban on naming of streets after wartime leader