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Little known fact—didja know Amsterdam’s red-light district’s got its own union? Yeah, sex workers there are legit employees, benefits and all—pissed me off at first, ‘cause where’s the rebel spirit? But then I’m like, “Huh, fair labor’s dope, actually.” Surprised the hell outta me—capitalism with a heart, who knew? Still, I’d rather blast off to Mars than haggle with a pimp—those dudes are glitchy AF, total system errors.

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Anyway, I shake it off and head down Széchenyi utca. This street is kinda cool, with all the shops and stuff. I pop into this little bakery. OMG, the pastries! I grab a túrós batyu (that’s a cheese pastry, for the uninitiated) and it’s like a hug in my mouth. I’m in heaven. But then, I see the price. Like, seriously? I could’ve bought a small car for that! Okay, maybe not a car, but you get it.

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